Those classic songs you can't get out of your head, but can't remember the name or lyrics of

By Frank Ramus,

Wealthy Gadabout

If you're anything like me, you host parties nearly every weekend. When you're not hosting or preparing for a party, you watch lots of VH1, to stay up to date on the current fads and fashions.

But isn't it the worst! I'm always watching the 'mmercials, as my wife Barb and I call them, and I hear a tune that I just can't stop wistling in my head! Here's an example:

In case you were wondering, the song in the background is "Hey You! (The Rock Steady Crew)." You can thank me later!

Anyway folks, I got to thinking, wouldn't it be 'cool' if someone on the internet posted the beats to songs, so that other folks could search for the beats in a google search and find out what song they're looking for? This idea gave me an enormous erection. So I got right to work. Here are some songs from commercials that I've spent some time looking up in the past, along with their crescendoing back beats. You can thank me later!

• "Ba dah dah, ba duh duh, ba dahh dahh, dah dahh duh, dahh du duhh" -- The song you are looking for is ACDC's "Highway to Heaven"!
• "Dohm. Be de de, be de de, be de daoi" -- The song you are looking for is OMC's "How Bizarre"!
• "BEH DUHN! de de de de BEH DUHN! de de de de" -- The song you are looking for is Journey's "Anyway You Want It"!
• "De De Duh Duh De De Duh Duh Duh" -- The song you are looking for is Foreigner's "Cold as Ice"
• Be deh, Be de deah duhh, be deh, be de deah duhh, YEAH!" -- The song you are looking for is the B52's "Love Shack"!

That's all I have time for at the moment, friends. But rest assured, I will post more next week! You can thank me later!

Mcnuggets in the Sky with Diamondz

written by Mexican_Guy_15, sensationalist and local pedophile


There's a potential prop bet in the making that has the possibility of being very entertaining.



The bet: Whether or not I can eat 100 chicken Mcnuggets in 2 hours.

This is an incredible amount of chicken Mcnuggets. Now, there are a plethora of videos on YouTube of people eating outrageous amounts of Mcnuggets, but no one ate more than 70. They also made many critical mistakes that ultimately hindered their eating ability.


Here's my plan:

1) Smoke weed. I normally don't smoke pot because I tend to binge eat when I do. Last time I smoked, I ate 2 bags of Doritos by myself. As far as I know, none of the YouTube Mcnugget challenge participants were high before they started eating.

2) Eat as many Mcnuggets as possible without the aid of barbecue sauce. I think this is critical to the completion of the Mcnugget challenge. Not only would the spices upset my stomach, but if I were to dip every Mcnugget in barbecue sauce before I ate it, I'd essentially be ingesting half a bottle of barbecue sauce along with the 100 Mcnuggets. One asshole was even dipping his Mcnuggets in a Mcflurry. What an amateur.

3) Smoke weed again. No vomiting is allowed. If i vomit, I lose. I figure if I eat the first 30 or 40 without barbecue sauce, I can make it the rest of the way by masking the disgusting flavor that will inevitably occur as I hit the mid-way point. I heard that after 15 or so, they start tasting like tuna. I just hope I don't get a batch of nasty Mcnuggets that have a bunch of strange dark spots in them like they sometimes do.

Video will be posted soon.

Check back.

Bitches.

Baby Shambles and Dizzee Rascal? Please don't play me like a bitch

by Fred Bundy, staff writer

Baby Shambles and Dizzee Rascal Tour together?
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS A FUCKING WORD THE ENTIRE TIME!

No, but in all seriousness who thinks that this could be a good idea? Obviously Pete Doherty can write a good pop song, but no one can agree on the pronounciation of his last name. And when you hit a bump like that, success is never coming your way (see Johnny Weissmuller, Ida Lupino and/or Johnny Damon).
I have no beef with his drug habits. Everyone has to get off somehow, and if it's selling needles to minors while in rehab, let him have it. But when is he going to make his fucking mind up on his last name. One week it's Dokerty and the next it's Doority. The latter obviously makes more sense, but then you start to think, (which is a dangerous exercise I advise avoiding if at all possible) "What if it's one of those backwards British English things? You know how they call an elevator the 'lift.' Maybe the 'h' iiiissss supposed to sound like a 'k'." And by the time you've thought through all of this, Pete has gone through thirty rails the size of Elton John's crack and he's completely changed his name to something like Dizzay Raskal. He's stopped doing pop and moved in on the grime scene. At night he wears black face and oversized denim yelling at kids and invoking dances that look more fit for the bedroom than a stage. The only way you can really tell it's him is from the track marks that show up under the sleeves of his throwback jersey or the powder mixed with blood that occasionally drips out of his nose.
So how does the industry cope with his fits? They book a tour supposedly based on two seperate people. However --- HOWEVER --- us at LMAODOGZ know that Pete "CoKing" Doherty is in fact Dizzee Rascal. There's no doubt in my mind pardner, they are one in the same. Proof, you ask?





This is Pete in his normal attire.
(note the white shirt.)












This is the only known photo of "Dizzee." Weird that his face is covered up, huh? Also wearing a white shirt like Pete (above).

HMMMMM??




The problem is not that they could (sic) ARE the same person, but that the record industry is going to try and sell this as a double bill. When in fact it is just one person with two personalities. Maybe you aren't quite sold by my cold hard facts. Maybe you think there is a chance that Pete and Dizzee aren't the same. Good. Whatever, my mom is coming to pick me up so your chance to argue is over. I WIN!